For Me (1Night Stand)


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Chalk it up to a little bit of speculation, but it seems that some people are looking for more than just a place to get off and get out.

According to DrEd , not many people — American or European — are super satisfied with their quickies. As someone who's never had a full-blown one-night stand in his entire life, I've never shamed a friend for doing so.

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Act as if that's what you want to do, like, right this second. There's something unsettling about a guy who's itching to seal the deal too quickly. After all, a tendency to rush doesn't bode well for our enjoyment later on.


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So put in some time. Be fun. Nonchalant, even. If you've made it this far, you don't need it, and it might just be the tipping point to a tragic equipment malfunction. Too much booze doesn't screw with just the penis, either.


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  6. A female friend of mine once drank so many whiskey sours working up the nerve to go home with the bartender that she was struck with a historic case of dry mouth, which rendered her kisser about as inviting as a ventriloquist's dummy's. There's also the condom conundrum. You want to get that thing on right. I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure throwing back five shots before trying to put a small, stretchy thing over a big tubey thing I'm being generous greatly increases the odds that it winds up hanging on to the tip for dear life.

    Like a small hat on an English bulldog. Chances are, she's thinking the same thing. So as Drake would say, you gotta be you. Caveat: If "being you" in bed involves knives, small animals, or bodily fluids other than semen, you should probably not be you. Or at least you should obtain explicit permission before being you. You feel bad.

    It Turns Out Your One-Night Stand May Want To Keep In Touch

    So you ask for our number even though you have no intention of calling. Or you inquire about our hopes and dreams and dead dog's name. Or you whisper "You're an amazing woman" as you backspoon us like a drowning man hugging a flotation device. You might even bring up brunch.

    But none of this is because you're interested in a relationship. It's only because you feel bad about being the dude-who-just-wants-no-strings-attached-sex. And it's needlessly confusing. You're acting lovelorn for your benefit, not ours.

    The Terrible Tale Of My Racist One-Night Stand

    Look, just remember going into this: If we go home with you from the bar, it's because we want to. Act as if that's what you want to do, like, right this second. There's something unsettling about a guy who's itching to seal the deal too quickly. After all, a tendency to rush doesn't bode well for our enjoyment later on.

    One-Night Quotes

    So put in some time. Be fun. Nonchalant, even. If you've made it this far, you don't need it, and it might just be the tipping point to a tragic equipment malfunction. Too much booze doesn't screw with just the penis, either. A female friend of mine once drank so many whiskey sours working up the nerve to go home with the bartender that she was struck with a historic case of dry mouth, which rendered her kisser about as inviting as a ventriloquist's dummy's. There's also the condom conundrum. You want to get that thing on right.

    I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure throwing back five shots before trying to put a small, stretchy thing over a big tubey thing I'm being generous greatly increases the odds that it winds up hanging on to the tip for dear life. Like a small hat on an English bulldog. Chances are, she's thinking the same thing. So as Drake would say, you gotta be you.

    1Night Stand

    Caveat: If "being you" in bed involves knives, small animals, or bodily fluids other than semen, you should probably not be you. Or at least you should obtain explicit permission before being you. You feel bad.

    How to Ask a Girl for a One Night Stand?

    So you ask for our number even though you have no intention of calling. Or you inquire about our hopes and dreams and dead dog's name. Or you whisper "You're an amazing woman" as you backspoon us like a drowning man hugging a flotation device. You might even bring up brunch.

    But none of this is because you're interested in a relationship. It's only because you feel bad about being the dude-who-just-wants-no-strings-attached-sex. And it's needlessly confusing. You're acting lovelorn for your benefit, not ours. Look, just remember going into this: If we go home with you from the bar, it's because we want to.

    For Me (1Night Stand) For Me (1Night Stand)
    For Me (1Night Stand) For Me (1Night Stand)
    For Me (1Night Stand) For Me (1Night Stand)
    For Me (1Night Stand) For Me (1Night Stand)
    For Me (1Night Stand) For Me (1Night Stand)

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